


To Go To Hell Again

by Hekate1308



Series: Children of Purgatory [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 11, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:17:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: Her talks with Crowley had become just another habit. Mostly she told him about inconsequential stuff like the hunts they went on, but tonight she couldn’t help herself.





	

Her talks with Crowley had become just another habit. Mostly she told him about inconsequential stuff like the hunts they went on, but tonight she couldn’t help herself. She was freaking out. Dad had been in a daze the whole day and even Cas had looked hopeless when he’d finally gone to bed.

“It’s getting worse” she breathed as soon as Crowley picked up.

“The Darkness?” he asked.

“She wants Dad, and she won’t stop calling for him. He’s fighting, but...”

A pregnant pause led her to believe that Crowley would hang up. He knew what he’d wanted to learn, didn’t he? One of – no, the best hunter who had ever walked on earth was incapacitated, lured by a monster, and he could –

“There’s something that might help” Crowley said. “Locked it away for bad days. Seems they have arrived”.

“What – “

“It’s called the Hand of God. You see, a long time ago in Mesopotamia – really, that doesn’t concern you at all, Miss Squirrel. But point is, I’m rather sure it would work against anything, even God’s crazy sister – it has been touched by the big man himself, you know. There’s a catch – “

“Of course there is. What do you want for it?” she asked tiredly. “My soul goes to Purgatory no matter what happens, unless you somehow manage to sneak it into Hell, Madison ditto, you are not getting Dean’s or Sam’s, and of course Cas doesn’t – “

“Always thinking the worst, I see.”

He didn’t sound like she’d have expected him too. He sounded... sad. Resigned, even. Was this a game? But she still remembered how he’d looked at them in Hell. As if he wanted to help them.

“What’s the catch, then?”

“To use the Hand of God effectively, you need serious mojo. I don’t doubt I could destroy almost everything in my path, but the Darkness is another thing altogether.”

Emma bit her lip as she often did when concentrating. This was good and bad news. Her father had told her how powerful Crowley was. He was the King of Hell for a reason. Her uncle had even tried to kill him last year and not succeeded despite a powerful spell as his weapon of choice.

What was stronger than the King of Hell?

She could guess, but it was not an answer she wanted to hear.

She still thanked Crowley and went to tell the others.

“The Hand of God?” Sam asked.

“Apparently it is something that was touched by God himself” she tried to explain.

“God does wield enormous power” Cas agreed. “If only some of it was transferred into the item we speak of...”

“It could work?” Emma asked.

Cas nodded.

She tried not to hope, but she was doing it already, she knew. Thinking of freeing her father, of saving him from Amara.

Madison squeezed her shoulder. She’d guessed what she was thinking.

“And he’d give it to us?” she inquired. “You’re sure about that?”

“Yes. It was like – the last time”.

Something had happened between her father and Crowley when Dad had been a demon, she was sure. Maybe not exactly... that, but they had grown close. Become friends, even. And while they both were doing their outmost to deny it, they still cared about each other in a weird way.

But who was she to judge? She and almost everyone she’d ever met before returning to earth had been undead monsters.

Uncle Sam was clearly as interested as she was, and he was also trying to keep hope at bay. His eyes sparkled with it, though.

“Still, we should perhaps keep this as a last reserve” he told them sadly. “We don’t need to be in Crowley’s debt even more – “

“We’re not in his debt” Emma was quick to answer. “He just wants update – “

“Emma” Sam interrupted her, “we’re more in his debt than we can ever hope to pay off.”

The fact that he looked at her as he said it and not at Madison confused her. Certainly he’d been glad to see his old – would they even have called themselves lovers back then, with how quickly it had begun and ended – but she hadn’t been entirely sure he saw her as part of the family. After all, she was a monster, and one he had killed before.

But his expression proved otherwise.

She swallowed.

“It is best to keep interactions with the King of Hell at a minimum” Cas said, and for a brief moment, she thought there was something like jealousy in his eyes.

She was about to ask what they would do in the meantime when the angel’s eyes grew big and he ran into the corridor.

“DEAN!”

By the time they arrived, he had put Dad to sleep. He was wearing his jacket.

“Was he – “

“He was about to leave” he confirmed.

They didn’t have to ask why.

As she watched Cas lower Dad onto his bed, Emma was shaking.

Unexpectedly, Sam pulled her into a hug.

“It’s going to be okay”.

“You don’t know that” she mumbled against his chest (why did he have to be so freaking tall?)

“No. But if anyone can pull through that, it is Dean.”

“Your uncle is right” Cas told them as they pulled apart. He was looking at Dean.

“His soul is the brightest, most beautiful thing I ever beheld. He is strong, much stronger than the Darkness thinks he is”.

Then, without another word, he pulled the chair up to the bed and settled in for another word of vigil.

“How much longer do you think he can take this?” Madison whispered once they were far enough away from the room.

“He’s an angel, he doesn’t need to sleep” Sam answered.

The look she gave him in reply said everything.

The next day, Emma came into the kitchen to find Dad making breakfast. She all but tackled him into a hug.

“Careful, there, Em, your eggs are going to be more than scrambled.”

She didn’t care, even if she didn’t tell him.

“Cas was pretty happy when I woke up too” he said. “He sat there all night, apparently.”

He didn’t tell her whether he remembered what he had been trying to do or not.

“Where is he?” she asked.

“Made him some coffee, then he went to read something. Thinks it might help.”

He didn’t look too happy, but perhaps he didn’t know yet.

“We have new –“

“He told me.” Dad’s shoulders tensed.

“Not surprised that Crowley has all kinds of weird stuff. Also he’s probably got storage units all over the country. He’s a bit paranoid. And he doesn’t like demons all that much. Or Hell.”

He relaxed a bit when she didn’t comment.

“In fact, he’d much rather be anywhere else. When he doesn’t have anything important to attend to, he hangs around on earth, living the good life.”

She stayed silent.

“Aren’t you going to ask?”

“It’s not my place, Dad.”

“Sometimes I wonder where you got all that common sense from. Can’t be me”.

“Has to. How did you survive until now if it isn’t?”

He gave her a confused glance and focused on the food again. She counted it as a win.

“Good morning” Madison said, strolling in. “Sam up yet?”

“Shouldn’t you know?” Emma teased her.

“I will have you know that that is my decision, and my decision alone, young lady, thank you.”

“Could you two stop gossiping about my little brother while I am right there?”

“You can always leave” Madison said.

“The stove’s here.”

Before she could answer, Sam all but fell through the door.

Literally.

“Sammy! Cas!”

Cas came running immediately.

Sam was still in his pyjamas. He was also out cold. And he looked awful.

Dean looked at Cas. He touched Sam’s forehead.

“He’s alright”.

“Thank God. Could you – “

Cas was already picking him up.

This time, it was Dean who stayed at his brother’s side, sending her and Madison to have breakfast.

Cas followed them a short time later.

“Want a plate?” she asked. Even as an angel, he sometimes tried food.

Secretly, she’d come to think that he’d much prefer to be human, most of the time. Stay in the bunker permanently, and be with –

“No, thank you”.

He sat down. In the morning light – well, alright, they were under ground, but in the glaring kitchen lights – he looked worn, and Madison’s question from last night made much more sense.

“Cas?”

He shook his head.

“This is all my fault” he said bitterly. “If I hadn’t helped Metatron in the first place, Gadreel would never have possessed Sam, Dean wouldn’t have taken the Mark of Cain and the Darkness would never have been released”.

Cas stood up abruptly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to... Excuse me”.

He left and went to his room, if she was right about the earth-shattering door slam.

“He’s in pretty bad shape” Madison said quietly.

She nodded.

“I know. We’ve been preoccupied with Dad, naturally, but... I don’t think Cas has been alright for quite a while.”

“I know something that would help him.”

“And how likely is it, with Dad...” she trailed off.

“Emma – “

“I know. But... He’s losing ground. I’m not saying he’s not strong. I saw him break out of the trance myself.”

“For you.”

It wasn’t a question.

She shrugged. “I was there and screamed.”

“That’s not it, and you know it. Emma, he’s ready to do everything for the people he loves. Everything. He won’t just... lie down and accept his fate as... the Darkness’ hubby or whatever she wants him to be. This is Dean.”

She knew all of that, of course, but it still felt good to hear it.

“Guys!”

Dean calling out alerted them to Sam having awoken.

But he made little sense.

“Sam, you’ve had visions before. When has this ever been good news?”

“But if God wants to help us out, Dean – “

“You don’t know that it is God!”

“Who else is it supposed to be? You killed Azazel yourself, Crowley controls Hell, so who should – ”

This had been going on for hours.

“Do you think they will stop anytime soon?” she asked tiredly. Madison apparently thought the same because she stomped up to them and shouted, “Enough!”

After the room fell silent, she said, “Look, can’t we all agree that Sam most likely had this vision for a reason and that it might be a good idea to check? At least we have everything we need – like you said, Crowley runs the place. He just has to let us in.”

Emma flinched, more for Dad than for herself. She and Madison had barely spent any time in Hell, but he –

He had been tortured there, he had given in and started to lose himself.

She didn’t want him to remember, but of course he did. The weak smile he wore as he agreed proved that he did.

And yet he said nothing, not when he called Crowley, not later when they were on their way.

He pulled her aside though before they went down.

“Look, kiddo, this ain’t going to be easy. I want you to sit this one out.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Look, you and Madison can –“

“We’re going to help.”

That ended that discussion, even though he still didn’t look happy. But that might have had to do with Hell in the first place.

Emma stayed close at his side as they descended.

“Look at that happy Squirrel & Moose family. And look, the angel’s here too”.

They hadn’t expected a different greeting.

Nor had they expected what actually happened.

Just ten minutes later, they were all but trapped in a cage with the devil, who still very much wanted her uncle as a vessel to bust out, and if it hadn’t been for Cas channelling his powers and giving them a chance to escape, that would have been it.

It took him five agonizing minutes to join them where they had parked the cars, minutes in which Dean did his best to comfort all of them while freaking out himself.

The relief on his face when Cas showed up was almost a reason to regret they were there. Who knew what could have happened.

 

She concentrated on the positive.

They had made it out alive. True, they hadn’t learned anything new, only that Lucifer still wanted out of the cage, but they were all in one piece.

“Hey Cas, you coming?” Dad called out as he strolled towards the Impala, appearing as much at ease as he could for Sam’s benefit.

“No, thank you” was the surprising answer. All eyes turned towards the angel as he explained, “I think I might know where to find information about the Hand of God. There are a few angels who chose to stay behind on earth – “

“Damn it, Cas, why didn’t you tell us before?”

“They are not doing any harm. I didn’t consider it relevant.”

Dad nodded, apparently resigned to never really _talk_ to the guy.

“Okay. Stay safe, alright? And keep us posted.”

“Of course, Dean.”

And then he... looked at Emma.

It was such a normal thing, really. She’d got used to the glances. Apparently being Dean’s daughter had automatically made her his charge in Cas’ eyes.

But there was something... off.

She couldn’t describe it, and by the time she’d realize, he had looked away again.

She didn’t tell anyone, not even Madison, because she didn’t want to drag them down even more. That they’d managed to do nothing but get thrown around by Lucifer was bad enough.

And yet the whole way home she couldn’t shake the feeling.

Something was wrong.


End file.
